So often, we keep ourselves attached to people or in relationships with people, hoping and praying that one day, that person would change.
How many times have you heard a woman admit that she got married in the hopes that marriage would change him? Yes, marriage does bring a change, but its hardly the change we desire. Marriage is guaranteed to magnify your difficulties, not ease them. And besides, if you married someone accepting them for exactly who they are, why would they change? The behavior that you hate yet tolerate- yes tolerate- got your mate a life long partner, so it must not be that bad. How many times will you have the exact same conversation? How many times will you accept that same sorry ass excuses? How many times will you allow it? Yes we love that person, you want the best for them, and they have so much potential but how about loving yourself enough to walk away from a situation that is unhealthy….but thats it, its a lot easier for us to place blame and try to change someone else, than to change ourselves.. We don’t get to choose our family, but we choose our circle. I understand, you may have chosen that person, and you realize it wasn’t what you wanted, but the baby came. SO you told yourself you were stuck with that person, and there was a lot of long talks and promises of changes. but its years later, and that person is exactly who they always were. No need to beat yourself up, no need to spread the hate and resentment unto your offspring. When you are good and ready, you can make a change yourself. Change is not something someone can force upon you, change takes time, change takes lot ofeffort and change is difficult. In order for change to be authentic, the person must want it. Others may want it for them, but until that person wants it for themselves, it wil never truly happen. Take it from me, when EYE decided to make the change it my life, it had nothing to do with others. It was MY decision
Many of us stay in relationships or situations, simply because we cant afford to live without that person, however you can change that too. Trust me, Ive been there. I was once in a co-habitating relationship with a man, I genuinely did not like. At first I was all crazy for him, and we dont needed each other. But as time went on, I hated going hime,because he was going to be there. We got into an arguement, and while trying to prove his point, he moved in his dad’s garage. I cried so hard because I didnt know how I was gonna live without his money. But I did, with little effort and I was happy!Think about, would you rather be uncomfortable for a short period of time, while YOU make some important changes. Or would you rather be uncomfortable forever because you are waiting on a person to make a change that is not mandatory. People only change because they have to or they want to. Stop fooling yourself, and quit with the excuses and start living a life you are proud of.