Lost

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I feel invisible
My hopes my dreams my thoughts and my prayers
All fall upon deaths ear and I am totally all alone
I pray and cry to God.but I am starting to believe I’ve reached my limit
I know he hears me, he always does
But he’s silent he’s quiet and refuses to move
It’s like he’s given up on me.like my redeeemer has thrown in the towel
Feeling like life is a big joke and I am missing the punch line
How many times can I go through this
Feel this hurt, I can’t accustomed to the pain
I just want to catch this break, I am so tired of hurting
Feeling unworthy, feeling like I am not enough
Feeling like I’ll never be enough
Is this all for me?

Why can’t I get accustomed and acquainted with the feeling that seems to suite me so well
I ask and I pray to God. Hoping that he will change things, hoping that He can change things for me. But all he seems to hand me is a a bunch of nos, nevers and I dont think so.
It’s almost like he’s asking ‘who do u think you are’
I want the best for me, but am I made for it?
I can’t reach it, actually I am not even sure what it is anymore.
I’ve lost hope,I am losing faith and I am scared.
Scared that God doesnt care, I am afraid he will continue to look over me
Maybe in the midst of my growing, I began to think too much of myself

Who am I to want better? how am I to go after the desires of my heart?
Who am I to try to help others? Who am I to try to make a difference?
I am just a flawed little girl who has yet to ever get it right
A girls who prayers have fallen short and confidence is lacking
A girl trying to make sense of it all, a girl that keeps failing in the process
I don’t want to be perfect just want to be genuinely happy and healthy
my heart is heavy and I am doing everything that I was taught to do.

I am just a girl. Trying to pick up the pieces, trying to make sense of it all
And at this moment, I feel as if I’m failing

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