Settle

couple woman in back

 

This isn’t right. Im supposed to feel,something right. Like I should be excited or thrilled but I am not
This is definately a safe bet. I know he likes me, I know he will take care of me.
But I don’t want to.
My heart isn’t in it and maybe my ass shouldn’t be either. I should be thinking about our future together but instead im thinking that if I continue with this, I’d be settling. I’d be settling…. I’m not in love, but thats doesnt mean end it, right?
I mean not every couple is in love…and I kinda like him, a little. He treate me well and I know he likes me. But, I don’t even want this man to touch me. That cant be right.
But maybe it will change.
 I can just go with the flow, people learn to love others everyday! And who am I, it’s not like I have tons of options. What if this is my last chance to get married? What if this is my last opportunity to achieve the life,I’ve always desired. I might as well….
Look at Kim, I know she didnt love Mike when they got married. But now she is happy in her big house, living the life. Well, she does drink a lot more. And he’s never at home
Well, I know for sure Will only married Nicki cuz of the twins, and thats working out well. I think, they do cheat on each other a lot, and they are always fighting.
But thats there life, I am not gonna do that. I am gonna make sure this works. I am gonna make the  best of this relationship–well, I will do my best.
What if I meet the person I was specifically created for while I’m tied to this relationship I don’t want to be in? Well then I’d just leave then. Yeah that’s it. I can enter this relationship and hope for the best. People do that all the time.. And if the better actually comes along, then I’ll just leave….but I can’t do that to someone, I can’t play with people’s lives…I wouldn’t want anyone doing that to me.
But its not like Im doing anything else right now….ahh COME ON!!!!!!!!!
*sigh* I guess I better  be true to myself. And being true to myself doesn’t involve him.
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