Someday……..

gracie 206

You ever get that nagging feeling, that something ain’t right? And no matter how much you try to overlook or work through it, it never leaves you
I had the feeling once…. I’ve been having it for a while and I finally did something about it.
I kept hearing God tell me to move, I kept hearing God say- leave, but I stayed.
God wasn’t always telling me to leave, at one point he was telling me to stay. There is a process with everything and there was still some lessons to be learned.
At one point it was my prayer to have God change my surroundings. But instead of changing my surroundings, God began to change me. After a while, I began to see the difference in how I handled situations. I was more calm, I found true peace and clung unto nothing.
Then I began to hear God to tell me to Go. And it was exactly what I wanted to hear for some time- but naw, it don’t make sense. I don’t even have a plan b…how could I possibly make a move. But after lots of relentlessly, I left…halfway. I had one foot in and one foot out…. And I’m sure that didn’t please God too well. But I was a little apprehensive. I looked up and even though I was once foot in, that was the only thing different…everything else was exactly the same. But God still kept telling me ‘GO’
I knew deep down in my heart that there was no way that God could lead me to where I was supposed to be,while I was attached to it. I knew that. And then one day, a plan b came up…it was confirmed and all, and then it sat still. Only thing I could hear was ‘LEAVE’
I had a talk with a coworker one day, and we spoke about this. He shared a bible verse with me. It was regarding faith, and how when everything looks wrong, we must go the way God instructs us. What he did not know what that just a few months earlier, when I began my ‘one foot in, one foot out’ journey- another coworker shared a very similar scripture with me.

Don’t you tell me God don’t be working!

And I did it- I quit my job. I put in my notice, it was mid December and I announced that at the first of the year I would no longer be back. I had already went per diem nearly three months previous but I was still there as often but I was making less. Not to mention the hour long commutes. I am thankful for the job, it catered great experiences and awesome friends into my life. But when the time is up, it’s up.
For those months I was resource, I kept saying I’m gonna leave! But I knew with the work God has for me, there was no way I could be apart of that job.
In my spiritual I am faithful and feel secure, for God always takes care of me. But in my natural… I’m still a little scared. I have mortgage and bills. But God prevails!

Can’t believe I spent so much time in a place I knew I wasn’t supposed to be. i told myself numerous times that it was my only option. Of course it wasn’t my only option, but my negative lazy self talk told me it was.
Now that I closed that chapter, I look back and I curse myself! WHAT WAS I DOING?!? My cons outweighed the pros and I’m just upset I limited myself. Because in my heart, I knew my destiny wasn’t tied there.
I knew that if I didn’t take this chance and do it now— I would look up and another year would have passed and I would have been right there! And I am ready to get what God has for me…. So if not now…..when?

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