The Earth is filled with different nationalities, cultures, personalities and behaviors. I think it’s more than fair to say that God did his thing! But I believe that at the end of the day, we all pretty much want to the same thing. I’ve said it before- we all just want to be loved. We all want to be happy, want the best for ourselves and those around us. But i also Believe that we all want to be WANTED.
There is a major difference between being wanted and being needed. Being needed, I believe involves some unhealthy attachment and underlying issues. But to be wanted- and I mean that there are other options but YOU- I throw those other options in the trash to have YOU!
And of course this could refer to business ventures, recreational events, friendships- but let’s explore intimate relationships.
From my own personal experience, the idea of being wanted by someone, has led me down paths that were filled with mess. For a long time, I equated being wanted with sex. Yes, I wanted to long talks, support and fun times. But i believe sex would lead me to it. Sure sex can be a part of being wanted. But, I often wanted someone to be around me that if that meant having sex, ok let’s have it. Not realizing that I have SO much more to give you. Sex isn’t a starting point- sex should always be used as an addition- not a starting point. But it took me years and lots of lost self worth, esteem and respect.
My means was sex- what’s yours?
The idea of being wanted- keeps us in unhealthy situations. We all want to fill validated- we all want to be loved. And this desire can lead us to say and do a lot of things that will never bring us the happiness and peace that we seek. That’s why it’s imperative that as an individual, you must be WHOLE before seeking relationships. Being healed from past hurts and dysfunction.
Contrary to what the story books and wedding shows tell us- no person will ever COMPLETE you. That’s a GOD job. And if you do find a person to complete you, what will you do when they leave you. That person didn’t complete you, they just made it easier for you to hide from yourself. Your helpmate was made to compliment an already whole you!
Being wanted is something we all desire. But what’s more important is that we are whole within ourselves. So we can decipher between being wanted and being used.